


Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest

by xylodemon



Series: deancas codas: season fifteen [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Related, M/M, Season/Series 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylodemon/pseuds/xylodemon
Summary: "You," Cas says quietly."Yes," the Empty burrs. "Me."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: deancas codas: season fifteen [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514186
Comments: 77
Kudos: 813





	Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the [Final Episodes Trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5AzUa5zABI). Unbetaed, die like men, etc. Title from Matthew 11:28.
> 
> [Rebloggable on Tumblr](https://xylodemon.tumblr.com/post/627744445301948416/deancas-fic-come-unto-me-all-ye-that-labour-and)

**//the harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved —jeremiah 8:20//**

Dean says, "Look," and scrubs a hand through his hair. The three of them have been talking in circles for hours; he has a headache, needs a beer. "If Chuck really is—"

He stops dead as something shifts in the air—something that buzzes in his ears, slithers up the back of his neck. Everything is heavy, humming with reverse pressure. Cas' eyes widen. Dean turns and reaches for the angel blade at his hip.

Sam's way ahead of him, shouting, "Hey," as he levels his gun. But the thing—the fucking _Empty_ —just shrugs a liquid-black shoulder and smiles without a mouth.

"You," Cas says quietly. 

"Yes," the Empty burrs. "Me." 

The air shifts again, prickles hot and sharp between Dean's shoulder blades. Cas says, "We had a deal," like the words are being ripped out of his throat.

"What?" Sam asks sharply. "You—what?"

"You didn't tell them, Castiel? Tsk, tsk."

Sam says, "Cas," and slowly lowers his gun. "What's going on?"

"When Jack died," Cas starts, his hands clenched at his sides, "he went to Heaven. But the Empty wanted him, and I'd promised Kelly I'd look out for him. So I…"

Dean closes his eyes. "You offered yourself up."

"It hurt me, really, letting that little firecracker go. But Castiel—" the Empty hums. "He'd already wriggled away from me once. And a cosmic entity never forgets."

"Neither do angels," Cas says, drawing himself up. "We had terms."

The Empty purrs, "We did," and tips its oil-puddle head to the side. "I said I wanted you to suffer. That I'd collect you once you'd given yourself permission to be happy. The thing is, you have a real knack for making yourself miserable, Castiel. For wanting things that are—" it cuts an eyeless look at Dean "—out of your reach. Besides, I know what you're planning to do about God."

"And?" Dean asks.

" _And_ ," the Empty drawls, "it just might work. It might also blow the whole universe to smithereens. I'm a cosmic entity, not a gambler. I'm calling in my last few favors early in case you idiots bring the whole house down."

Dean can't think about that right now—Jack, Chuck, the way Billie has them all dancing to a tune only she knows how to sing. He looks at Cas, asks, "Miserable, huh?" with a knot squeezing the back of his throat. He's wondered these last few months—if Cas has had second thoughts now that Chuck wasn't scrambling their brains like eggs, if he just kept hanging around Dean and Sam out of habit. "You—"

"Dean, no. That… thing is exaggerating."

"Am I, Castiel? Don't forget, we've had this conversation before. I know what you hate. I know who you love."

Silence. The air thrums. Dean stares over Cas' shoulder instead of looking at his face—at the flush on his cheeks, the tears in his eyes.

Sam asks, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to burden you with it."

"Burden?" Dean's hands are shaking. "You—"

"It would've consumed you, Dean. You would've wasted weeks and months trying to find a way out, just like you did with Lucifer. And I—" Cas' voice cracks. "I thought I should just enjoy the time I had left."

Guilt squeezes Dean's chest like a hand crushing everything behind his ribs. He thinks about their fight, and about the horrible shit he said while Chuck was using them to play toy soldiers. About finding Cas in Purgatory just minutes before the portal closed. About breathing easily for the first time in weeks.

He says, "Cas," and wipes his wet eyes with his sleeve. "You can't." 

"Dean." Cas reaches out, stops just short of catching Dean's arm. "I'm sorry."

Numb. Dean feels numb. He says, "I'll go," in a voice like broken glass. "Cas, let me go instead."

Sam shouts, "No. No way," and takes a step closer to Dean. Cas just stares—mouth open, tears on his cheeks. 

"I'll go," Dean says again. He owes Cas this, owes Cas everything. He wouldn't be standing here right now if Cas hadn't pulled him out of Hell. "I'll—"

"Dean." Cas catches Dean's wrist, sweeps his thumb across the frantic bump of Dean's pulse. "I know you think every fight is yours. You've fought for the whole world, over and over again. But this—this isn't—"

"Cas." Dean swallows, clears his throat. Swallows again. "I—I can't." _Cas dead, his wings scorched into the sand. A hollowness that had never stopped gnawing at Dean's gut, a sense of loss so heavy it never stopped dragging him down._ "You can't—"

"Enough stalling," the Empty snips. Everything around it crackles with displeasure. "Come along before I change my mind about your pet nephilim."

Cas nods. "Dean, Sam. I—I guess this is goodbye."

Sam sucks in a shaky breath. And Dean—Dean—

He grabs Cas by the front of his coat and smashes their mouths together. It's terrible—clumsy, tear-wet, more teeth at first than lips—but Dean can't get enough of it, doesn't care that his brother is watching, that the Empty's impatience is churning the air at his back. He pulls Cas closer, pushes a hand into Cas' hair, slides his tongue into Cas' mouth.

The soft, surprised noise Cas makes shatters something in Dean's chest. Something deep and horrible and permanent, something that strips him down completely, leaves him nothing but a raw nerve.

"Cas," he mumbles. "You gotta know I—that I—"

"I know, Dean. I've always known. And I've always returned it."

Fuck. _Fuck_.

Sam grabs Dean's arm. He says, "I'm not letting you watch this," and herds Dean towards the door.

**//i sought him, but i could not find him; i called him, but he gave me no answer — solomon 5:6//**

Days pass. Sam and Jack move through the bunker like ghosts. Billie shows up twice—once to bitch about all the ways they've made things difficult for her, and once to lay out the plan.

+

Chuck dies on a Thursday night at a railyard in Fort Wayne. Jack juices him on the spot, calling down a screaming flash of blue-white-yellow light that leaves spots in Dean's vision and a ringing in his ears.

A month ago, Dean would've been relieved that it was over. Now, he doesn't feel much of anything. He stares at the blood-splattered shipping container for a moment, then turns around and heads for the Impala, his shoulders hunched against the wind.

+

Dean's dozing when Sam comes into his room, sitting up on his bed with his head tipped back against the wall. The door creaking open jerks him awake. He winces as his neck pops. The book in his lap slides to the floor.

"Sorry." Sam hesitates, shifts his weight like he's deciding if he wants to come in. "I thought you'd be up."

"What time is it?"

"Three."

"In the morning?"

"Afternoon."

Dean hasn't left his room in a couple of days, has been drinking most of his meals. He rubs a hand over his face, says, "Well, I'm up now."

Sam hesitates again. Then: "What are you reading?"

" _Multiplicities of the Universe_ ," Dean replies. "Or _Metaphysics of the Universe_. Something like that."

"For Cas?"

Dean just shrugs.

"You know, the Empty isn't like Purgatory or Hell. We can't just kick down some secret door and—"

"Yeah, Sammy. I know."

He does know. He just doesn't know what else to do.

+

The next time Dean wakes, it's the dead of night. Jack is standing at the foot of his bed, backlit by the sodium light slicing in from the hallway. 

Dean stares at him for a second, then mumbles, "Uh," and leans up on his elbows. Jack hasn't been back to Earth much since taking over for Chuck. "Everything alright?"

"You pray very loudly."

"I—what?"

"I said, you pray very loudly."

"Yeah, I heard you." Dean doesn't know where this conversation is going, but he doesn't want to take that trip in the dark. He sits up, switches on his bedside lamp. A yawn catches his voice as he says, "I, um—I didn't know I had been."

"Oh, you haven't been _praying_ praying," Jack says. "It's more of, uh—" he touches his chest "—a longing, I guess."

"Longing, huh? And you just… pick that up from everyone?"

"Not everyone. Just you and Sam. Naomi thinks I'm attuned to you two because we're friends."

The silence after that is awkward. Dean's forgiven Jack—as much as he can, anyway—but they never really found their footing again, and now that Jack's basically the new God, he's not sure they ever will.

Finally, Jack says, "Heaven's still failing. There aren't enough angels too keep it going. Naomi thinks I need to make more. I think it would be easier to release the angels in the Empty."

Something like hope bubbles in Dean's chest, so warm and bright he can barely breathe. "So… Cas?"

Jack smiles. "Yes."

"You think Billie's gonna be okay with that?"

"I think I killed God," Jack says placidly. "That means I can do whatever I want."

**//and the light shineth in the darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not —john 1:5//**

Dawn. The sky is purple-gray as it stretches over the field of prairie grass behind the bunker.

Cas comes walking down the gravel road that leads to the garage, only fifteen minutes later than Jack predicted. He's moving stiffly, like he's figuring out how to be inside his body again. Sunlight is flaring at his back.

Then: "Hello, Dean."

Dean breathes. His throat is burning like he's going to cry. He says, "Welcome home," and pulls Cas in.


End file.
